Love, love, love

So, I've noticed that whenever my friends around me get to the point where they're pursuing and being pursued it really brings me down. I'm unbelievably happen for them, no doubt about that, but sometimes I get this irrational sadness and jealousy. It's really quite annoying. But I get into this unhealthy mentality of "Why do they get a boyfriend? They've already had their first boyfriend, isn't my turn now? What do they have that I don't? Why am I so terrible at this whole love/dating/relationship thing?" I've been feeling this way today, and although it's not a new emotion for me, not even close it has been a very long time since I've felt this way. Ever since my senior year I've been really good with my self-esteem and generally being happy with my life. This old and petty emotion totally caught me off guard. I'm fully aware that I'm not in the spiritual mindset and lifestyle that is necessary for the type of relationship I'm looking for, but sometimes it's just nice to be recognized and let known that you're desirable you know? Although, this isn't where one's self-worth should come from so I suppose it's just an ideal I haven't dropped from high school.